“You’re a great writer.” Those were the words I remembered from the critique of my 3rd grade english teacher discussing my first fictional essay. “I could do better I thought”, almost as soon as I finished it. It was a funny little story about a creature living 1000 ft. under the sea. (why 1000 ft.? I have no idea… probably because I didn’t know about leagues yet and one-thousand was the highest number I knew how to spell (correctly)). As soon as I was done I began critiquing every little part. Every sentence had to be perfect and little did I know how much a challenge lay ahead.
I was frustrated. I had the entire english language at my disposal yet continually struggled to find the right ‘symbols’(aka ‘words’) to convey what I truly meant. I knew little of how imperfect language was then and thus how ultimately communication can be. So… I put writing on the back-burner. I loved sports, and doing things (instant feedback loops) more than conquering something that seemed at the time very time-consuming and tedious. My perfectionist mentality was a bad mix and it pushed me away from something I think I could maybe grow to love.
As I have decided to start writing again (in the midst of social media overload) I can’t help but feel the same bit of anguish I had as a child. Ultimately the idea is just to tell a story. A story that hopefully does captivate you, inspire you or ‘touch’ you. A good story draws you into a different world… A world that maybe you’re not so used to and then shoots you back to your reality anew. While it may take me sometime to find my way, I am certain that for me… ‘writing’ is a creative outlet worth exploring.